The Sh!t No One Tells You About Divorce
A Guide to Breaking Up, Falling Apart, and Putting Yourself Back Together
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Divorce is a sh!tstorm. This book is your life raft.
After 12 years together, 2 children, 10 pets, and 5 properties, Dawn and her partner decided to call it quits. In the newest installment of her bestselling Sh!t No One Tells You series, Dawn tries to figure out what happened… and what happens next.
Dawn takes you on her own bumpy, meandering, and often absurd journey through the destruction of a life exploded by divorce. She dodges legal hurdles, irrational decisions, alarmed therapists, random hobbies, and a concerning number of dating app profiles that look like the beginning of a true crime podcast. But somehow, she found herself stronger—and happier—on the other side.
Leaning into the mess, Dawn helps you learn the art of embracing Netflix and cry, the healing power of profanity, the importance of assembling the right support squad, how to survive the sh!tshow of co-parenting, and much more. Joined by an insightful chorus of divorced friends, Dawn delivers a true-to-life and funnier-than-it-should-be guide to discovering the unexpected value in the wreckage. What if divorce isn’t just a loss—but an opportunity?
It All Goes By So Fast (Except Maybe This Part)
A Pregnancy and Baby Journal
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Offering quick and easy fill-ins ("grossest thing the baby licked today") and space for parenting musings ("your thoughts on your evolving definition of a fun night"), this journal will be a memorable keepsake that you will treasure forever (well, maybe not right now, but . . . eventually).
Included are handy and silly milestone stickers you can place on your baby or yourself and snap a photo to celebrate the charming and not-so-charming moments of early parenthood, such as:
- Everything is FINE. Totally fine. Totally.
- No, I’m still not sleeping through the night.
- Today I pooped in my own ear.
A modern parenting and pregnancy must-have, It All Goes By So Fast is the perfect companion (or antidote) to What to Expect When You're Expecting.
A BABY SHOWER GIFT WITH A GOOD DOSE OF HUMOR: Snarky, funny, and most importantly, deeply relatable, this handy journal has lots of prompts that help parents capture moments from pregnancy and the baby's first year.
A UNIQUE KEEPSAKE: Full of humorous prompts like "first person the baby bit with their new teeth" and "number of times (a day) that I google 'Why . . .' and then forget what I was googling," this pregnancy journal/baby first year memory book encapsulates all the unspoken moments that parents will enjoy looking back on again and again.
INCLUDES LOTS OF STICKERS: More than sixty stickers that capture the timeless, silly, and strange moments of pregnancy and the first year with baby. Have fun sticking them on babies, yourself, family, friends, and random strangers!
The Shit No One Tells You About Pregnancy
A Guide to Surviving Pregnancy, Childbirth, and Beyond
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The fourth title in Dawn Dais's popular parenting series, The Sh!t No One Tells You About Pregnancy is quite possibly the funniest, and most heartfelt, yet. After all, pregnancy is not all about scanning Pinterest for baby shower themes and registering for ironic onesies, and sometimes the less flattering aspects of gestation have a way of dimming a bit of that so-called pregnancy glow.
Not to worry! Dawn is here, ready to shepherd you through the experience of one human body taking on the task of growing another human body. (Spoiler alert: It ain't always pretty.)
Dawn covers it all, sharing expert lists, tips, warnings, and even a series of Parent-Training Workouts designed to increase readers' tolerance to the various indignities of parenthood, like peeing with an audience and surviving an afternoon in Chuck E. Cheese.
The Sh!t No One Tells You About Pregnancy is a must-have guide for expectant moms (and their partners!) who are looking for some counsel, comedy, and camaraderie during their ultimate countdown to parenthood.
The Sh!t No One Tells You
A Guide to Surviving Your Baby's First Year
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"Humorous revelations offer insight into a natural process that can and often does completely overwhelm the mother. . . An amusing and accurate examination of life with an infant.”
—Kirkus Reviews
“Pregnant women who want an honest peek inside what’s to come will be convinced to nap while they still can, and moms with kids will laugh out loud at Dais’s quirky insights and strong opinions.”
—Parents Magazine
"Dais and her team of MOFLs (moms on the front lines) guide parents (moms, especially) through the first 52 weeks of your child’s life with honesty, clarity, humor, complaints and encouragement on a myriad of important subjects from breastfeeding, endless crying and vaccinating to relationship problems, loss of freedom and inaccurate Facebook statuses (“OMG, I love my life!”)."
—Kirsten Ott Palladino,EquallyFamily.com
"The Sh!t No One Tells You took me right back to those first weeks of new motherhood—truly the most empowering and frustrating (and frightening!) of times. With heartfelt encouragement and insight, Dawn Dais is a must-read for first-time moms."
—Rebecca Woolf, author of Rockabye: From Wild to Child
The NonRunner's Marathon Guide for Women
Get off your butt and on with your training.
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"Dawn Dais is your average nonrunner who experienced firsthand what it’s like to shake up the routine and train for a marathon—and finish it! This is a funny guide that provides needed motivation for a journey that can change your life for the better."
—U.S. Olympian Jeff Galloway, author of the bestselling book Marathon
I hate running. And it doesn’t like me much either. My fitness routine used to consist entirely of me getting to the bottom of my stairs at home and then realizing I had forgotten something upstairs. I then had to bitterly climb back up the stairs to retrieve said object. And about 50% of the time I’d just leave the object upstairs, because who really has the energy to climb stairs? With this exercising philosophy firmly in place I set off on an attempt to complete a marathon.
How is it that I went from Elmer Fudd to the Road Runner? I’m not quite sure. I came home one day to find a postcard from the American Stroke Association in my mailbox. The postcard showed very happy people very happily running a marathon. They were running to raise money for the American Stroke Association (hence them being on the American Stroke Association’s postcard).
My grandfather, who had recently passed away, had had a debilitating stroke many years ago. I felt this had to be a sign from him somehow, “Do this marathon,” he was saying, “Raise money for this cause.” There was also a coupon for Jimboy’s Tacos in my mail. Apparently Grandpa was also saying, “eat a discounted taco.” This message seemed more his style.
But still, I could not ignore the sign. When you lose a relative there is the feeling of wanting to do something: something huge, something profound, something that can somehow honor a life now gone. Unfortunately, nothing could ever be big enough to honor a whole life. But my lazy ass moving for 26 consecutive miles--that’s pretty profound.
So I decided to run a marathon, or at least finish a marathon. And that’s when things started to get funny.
The Nonrunner’s Marathon Guide for Women is meant to be a guide for other couch potatoes who decide that running a marathon sounds like a fantastic idea. The book offers insight into what your training will entail and how to get through the training once it stops sounding like a fantastic idea. Every chapter offers advice in a relatable fashion, from someone (that would be me) who feels your pain (and hears your cussing) and knows you can get to the finish line, even when you barely feel like you can get out of bed.
In addition to rock solid advice the book also offers interactive tests, quizzes and journal space so you can keep a detailed account of the hell you endured during your foray into the running world. These sections will be fun to do while you are training, but they will be even more fun to read afterwards, after you wake up from the sweat and Advil induced haze of marathon training.
To many a marathon seems like an unattainable feat. But, just like anything in life – it can be done. The book is specifically about running a marathon but on a broader scale it is about setting a seemingly impossible goal and the effort and commitment it takes to see it through to the end. I hope you will be entertained by the fact that I once had to stop and take a nap on the side of a running trail, or that I was passed by the same runner three times in one race. But hopefully you will also be inspired by the fact that in both of these instances I finished my run. As miserable as I felt or as many times as that same Matchbox 20 song came on my headphones I never, ever quit. Sure, I sat down and cried a few times, but hopefully my overall journey to the finish line will inspire you to set your personal goals a bit higher. And more importantly it will inspire you to have a sense of humor if you sometimes falter along the way.